Finding Mirlk: Part 1

[THIS BLOG IS THE START OF A 5 PART SERIES]

                We all have moments in our lives where we are faced with difficult decisions. In decisions I am not talking about seemingly trivial decisions like what is to be devoured in thy gullet for the night or wearing black belts with brown shoes (Seriously, stop it); but more about decisions that create a fork in our path that has distinctively life changing consequences.

It is imperative to remember that each decision or indecision has a cause and effect. Also, consequences are not just for bearing negative results, positive outcomes are a’plenty as well. Making or avoid landing on a decision whereas a pronouncement is required bears consequences, nonetheless.

The ever-so-tricky fork in the road

Therein lies the fork, does one stand tall and shine or ostrich-style themself to maintain contentment? Both are decisions that can cause rifts to our lives.

                From my point of view there are two sides to this:

                On one side, avoidance grants the illusion of peace. Ignore it and it shall go away, right? Misrepresented consequences with a face value of positive results – peace, happiness, ignorance is bliss; yet be watchful for underneath such decisions bear sharp teeth. There is no illusion in the treachery of the universe when deploying an avoidant method of dealing with issues; dem problems seem to always resurface.

                On the other side of that coin, refusing to dim one’s light and charging head-on towards issues will usually result in consequences that are quite the opposite of what we might qualify as ‘positive’. In fact, at face value the results are negative, at first anyhow. From what I can tell, it is possible one could be met with constant battles, loss of friendships, limited personal relationships, cruel interpersonal dialogues, and whatever the universe decides to bestow upon you. In simply form, confronting the issues and making decisions needed is not for the faint of heart, but offers the opportunity to obtain much more clarity in oneself.

So why would anyone not choose avoidance? While the road to avoidance may seem the easier and less contested path, it usually leads to a much more abrupt and devastating end. On the other hand, facing situations is initially more difficult and troublesome but usually leads to a more well-rounded destination. This has been my experience.

But let’s rebase for a moment, this is not a blog about the cause and effect of consequences directly, more so on the journey that was undertaken when realizing the path of avoidance was not doing me any favors.

No Favors permitted

After eons of time exhibiting avoidance, the decision that inevitably led me to recapturing my life and embarking on living life again was made. However, during this initial rehabilitation period, the first hiccup was quick to rear its head – self-identification. When one sacrifices themselves for any extended period it’s easy to forget who one was previously or to whom they wish to become. My answer to that hurdle was easy, just start doing random, weird, and totally out-of-the-box activities. The thought process was if my identify was forgotten, fuck it, jump into the fray and see how it goes. Simply sample the world and its experiences; learn and teach yourself who you are.

                The first event came in by invitation from a co-worker of mine. I cannot recall if I had mentioned it in passing to him, or if I jokingly stated I wanted to go (namely because I am a Viking Fanatic), or if the initial suggestion came from him and it was just something that intrigued me. Either way, the offer came in and was quickly accepted. Said invitation was to meet him at an Axe-Throwing facility near my home, have some brews, talk some, and toss some iron after work.

During that evening, I quickly learned my ability to toss iron was not enhanced by my ego, quite the opposite it turns out (it isn’t about throwing it hard, it is skill and finesse). More so, I learned that I could, indeed, see myself again. For it was the first time I laughed hard, smiled genuinely, and, if I am being honest, truly felt ok since the downfall. That event was but the ice breaker that spring boarded me from “pity” party to hungry for seizing life’s adventures.

Axes of old

Shortly after we parted ways, I had the overwhelming desire to get a tattoo. While the thought of said tattoo might have been spontaneous, the actual image was not. The only thing I knew that could bring understanding to how I felt and what was happening was nothing less than Yggdrasil – The Ash Tree of Nordic Mythology. The beginning, end, and the true epicenter of the Nine Realms.

As it was etched into my skin, it symbolized the true start of my journey, not the end. The taste for the human experience swelled. Subsequently, I was now scouring forums and event-based websites looking for the next thing. The events that were to come were something that I will never forget. To me the path forward was clear now, for the voyage had indeed started and my body was all too eager and ready to ride the wave.

                Thus the journey had commenced. To be continued...

• -Mirlk